This is one of the hardest blog updates I’ve ever had to write. My very good friend, and brother, Conan, who arrived at Kismet on November 27, 2010 for a 30 day holiday and never left, died very suddenly this past Wednesday January 18th while we were in Dangriga.
He had been suffering what he thought was a case of gird (acid reflux) or possibly a stomach ulcer for the better part of a week. Mark and I gave him some of the stomach remedies that we had which include Zantac and Tums. What with the diet that Conan followed it was no wonder he was having stomach problems. We thought that the stress of his recent, and still unresolved, legal problems also had a lot to do with a sick tummy. Tuesday was his worst day so he went to the village clinic where he was given more stomach remedies but he was told to return after the 1pm lunch break for an EKG so a heart problem could be ruled out. So back he went and was back to Kismet within 30 minutes. He said his EKG was normal (he the former medical student) but that the doctor saw an anomaly and wanted him checked by a cardiologist ASAP to rule out an infection. Wednesday was court so we knew he wouldn’t be worrying about anything else much less making doctor appointments.
So off we go at 9am Wednesday in one of the guest’s pickup trucks. Conan had mentioned to me the night before that he really didn’t feel like driving so having a ride was a blessing in more ways that one. Two of the guests and I were dropped off as we entered Dangriga, they to renew their passport visa and me for a routine blood panel. Everyone else headed to court. Trisha called me a few minutes later and said that court was cancelled and we made arrangements to meet at ScotiaBank in the center of town because we all had shopping to do. Who is running into the bank for cash (including me), who is hitting the 2 small grocery stores by the bank (also including me) and when we finished we sat on the steps of the bank BS’ing, joking and laughing. Just a normal day. A few of us took the 2 block walk across the river to the fruit and veggie market. Conan, Fran and his son Peder (return friends from Norway) and another couple headed out to Tobacco Caye stayed behind. We got back to the bank and sat down again. Canadian Dave (a friend of ours form Hopkins) walked up and we talked to him for about 10 minutes It was in the 90’s at 11am and pretty darn hot. Conan mentioned how he was suffering from the heat and I said I was too. So we all got up and walked to where the pickup was parked (about a block away), piled in (everyone was in the truck bed except the 2 truck owners and Trish) and drove off. We had a stop to make at the Belikan Beer distributor which was about a 1-1/2 way so Trish could buy a couple of cases of soda and me for a 5 gallon bottle of water. As we turned onto the Belikan street Conan looked at me and said, “Passing out.” And fell over sideways. He was only out a few seconds and back to his normal self. Trish made him sit in the cab with the a/c and he felt better. The pics of Conan are the last one taken of him and he seems fine. We left Belikan about 20 minutes later and headed for Hopkins. Not 2 blocks further on I hear someone yelling but we don’t see anyone but the truck veers to the shoulder and we see Conan slumped in the seat. We pulled him out of the truck and as we do I see that his eyes are open but unfocused and he is cyanotic (turning blue). Once we had him on the ground and found that he wasn’t breathing and had no heartbeat Trish and I started CPR with me doing the compressions. We only did it for 60 seconds or so because he was getting blue-grayer by the second. I got everyone to get him into the truck and I continued compressions until we got to the hospital. A gurney was brought out and I told the doctor and nurse inside the ER what happened and they ran him right in and began working on him. I was not hopeful. I thought more along the lines of an aneurysm and that he’d already bled out. But they did all their magic including shock and a ventilator. They never got a single beat out of his heart though. Trisha and the others had already left for home with Trisha already going into shock. I had already looked through Conan’s phone and the only numbers he had were for his Mother (who is not very healthy) and his ex-wife Dani. I tried calling her but only got her voice mail. I told her who I was, left my number, and asked if she could call me ASAP. I figured that she had his family’s numbers. I called Mark back at Kismet and told him about Conan and that it didn’t look good. Mark of course asked if I was joking because it was such a shock. Once he understood I told him that I was friends with Conan’s sister Kali and his father and maybe he could get contact info there. He had to wait for Trish to get back because he needed her laptop. His Notebook had been stolen from his room several weeks ago. Meanwhile back at the hospital and American nurse was keeping me updated and making sure that I was OK. A very nice lady who is head of Nursing Education at the local college. She came out at one point and said that the local priest was there and did I want Last Rites administered. I knew Conan was an agnostic and told her that but said to go ahead because prayer and the sacraments are a powerful thing. I said I wanted them to do everything they could and I would apologize to Conan later. Thirty minutes later they called it. I asked to say my goodbyes before I left and they let me in after they were finished cleaning him up. I was glad to be able to do that at least. I had a few minutes with the doctor who told me what the process was for obtaining the death certificate and claiming his body. I also asked about an autopsy and he said it would take a few days. So now we’re waiting for that to happen so we know exactly what took him from us.
I took a cab back to Kismet and Mark was on Facebook and friended Kali who responded right away and they chatted and then got on the phone. I called Dani again and told her what happened. She and Conan were best friends to this day and talked often. She too asked if I was joking and I assured her that I wasn’t. She knew but of course didn’t want to hear that it was true. So we talked for a while and I assured her that I would keep her in the loop. Within hours we’d spoken with his Mom and Dad as well. Trisha also notified the U.S. Embassy to notify them of his death and I’ve been speaking with a representative about the procedure we need to follow. I’m taking care of all of the arrangements for his death certificate and having him cremated as per his wishes. Some members of his family will come in the next few months to collect him. I’ve asked in an email if we can have a small portion of him to spread out on the reef he loved so much as well.
Tricia, Mark and I are still feeling that numbness of disbelief. We still expect to see him coming up the steps to the kitchen to talk with us and smoke and drink his coffee. We are all thankful that we had him in our lives for the past 14 months and for all the great times we had together. For me he almost immediately became a brother when he arrived at Kismet on November 27, 2010. We all loved him. He leaves us all with such wonderful memories.
Today, Saturday 1/21, we are holding a remembrance of his life at 2pm central and have invited all of his other friends to come and share their stories with us.
And so, life goes on for the Fatboy in Belize…but much sadder because of the hole that Conan’s passing has left in our hearts. As always, stay well, keep happy, and practice peace. I am!!!
